No Loitering

As a professional writer who works from home, I am in the unique position of enjoying certain perks that most of the workforce does not. For example, coming to work in my pajamas. I can also take as long as I want for lunch and I’m very reasonable about giving myself time off to attend to urgent personal matters such as manicures. All in all, I have found that I am an excellent boss — a pushover, really. I can come to work late or leave early with nary a reprimand. And the best part is I don’t even have to fake being sick when I want a day off. I simply take it.

However, the flip side to all of this freedom, ironically, is all of this freedom. In other words, since I have no one to report to other than myself (and I think I’ve already proven that I am an extremely lenient boss), then I don’t have anyone to hold me accountable. And if I don’t actually do my work, then I don’t actually get paid.

As I sit here facing a deadline, stunned that I don’t have more written, I have decided to look back on the past week trying to determine where I could have spent my time more efficiently. Upon closer examination, it turns out that I might not have an outstanding work ethic. Here is my eye-opening list.

The Top 10 Things I Did To Procrastinate This Week:

10. Googled “Pez dispensers”.

9. Stalked old boyfriends on Facebook.

8. Stared out the window with my cat.

7. Started to organize my recipe box, got distracted and baked cookies.

6. Watched Jenna Marbles YouTube videos.

5. Previewed ringtones on Verizon’s website (winner- The Flinstones theme song).

4. Put stuff in my shopping cart on Amazon, knowing I won’t buy any of it.

3. Called my mother.

2. Attempted (and failed at) the Jumble.

And the number one thing I did to procrastinate this week:

1. Compile this list.

Why you should always hang up your clothes

I was sitting at my computer working on my next book, when I heard this tortured sound coming from the bedroom. It was like a cross between a choking goose and a bagpipe with diarrhea. So I jumped up from my chair, ran into my room, and saw my cat leaning over a pile of clothes trying to cough up a hairball. Right onto my favorite sweater!

Have you ever tried maneuvering a vomiting cat? Suffice it to say that the story ends with a lot of bandaids and a very long shower. And a dry cleaning bill for my favorite sweater.